God is Great, God is Smart. Thank You God, for the Chart.

Some thoughts from a mommy with shabby skills in time management, planning ahead, simplifying, staying on task, and, yes, somehow, perfectionism:

I have a little problem. I have PCD. Persistent Cleaning Disorder. People with PCD find themselves constantly trying to control their environment through the guise of simple housework. I clean. All the time. I'm am ALWAYS picking up, wiping, rearranging, and otherwise putting things back in their place. It's as if I went through my house and took a little mental photograph of each room in it's perfect state, and then I subsequently try to keep it that way constantly, nevermind the three small children, two adults, and scruffy dog who need to actually live in this space. It's like my brain only registers order or chaos.

When I was growing up, my mom was always around, always there for me. To this day I'm very close to her, and we have lots of great memories. But while watching home videos one day, and seeing my mom in the background only in glimpses--an arm pushing a vaccuum, legs going by under a laundry basket, a wisp of hair and then the sound of a spray bottle squirting... I realized. She had it too.

I don't want to give the wrong message. My house is not THAT clean. The floors don't shine and the toilets don't sparkle. Around here they're not even always flushed. It's not that I'm actually achieving the goal. I'm only mindlessly exhausting myself trying. And in the meantime I'm compromising the very thing that is the best gift I could be giving to my family. My time.

And only recently has this really sunk in. After my ankle surgery, as I laid there bedridden with a log for a leg, imagining the world going to crap around me, I found myself liberated. I had to choose to go insane, or let it go. My expectation of perfection was lifted, and I cared so much less if the blocks were left on the floor instead of placed in their cute designer basket, or that someone used the couch throw without carefully replacing it in it's proper decoratively-correct position. My kids would climb in the bed and talk to me, and I would really listen, and really enjoy them. I was so over the cleaning thing.

And then I could walk again. And then I could clean again.

I tried to do better. Even for about a month or so I had a pretty detailed routine going that had me cleaning less and spending more time with the girls. It was fun to check off our accomplishments, so I threw it all in. Wake up time, dress time, breakfast time, reading time, outdoor-play time, academics time, special outing time, tidy time, nap time, snack time, free-time time... Needless to say, once I got off track, everything in my new, clearly much more manageable world crumbled in one fell swoop. So, after several months I've climbed back on that wagon again. I finally created a simple schedule that should be pretty easy for everyone to follow. I listed the things we ideally need to do to keep everything running smoothly, and then we're free to fill in the blanks. I must admit I still have a list of free-time activities to serve as a reminder for myself that includes everything from reading to the museum, but it's just a piece of paper I can look at when I need ideas.

The listed duties have Jared-friendly descriptions and on the right side I put the things that don't change much day to day but may still require gentle reminding. Besides cutting down time I spend on housework, it has helped me to stop feeling like I have to have a life-enriching activity planned for the girls every day. We do a couple special things a week.




I also made chore charts for the big girls. They're excited about earning stars and "taking care of the family." For the "Mommy's Helper" they each roll this wooden chore die. At first I wasn't sure if they would get a reward after collecting stars, or what it should be, but I decided on Mommy and Daddy dates since I thought we should be doing those anyway. Two birds.



I just used Printshop and internet clipart and added text on cardstock for the "job" cards, and then made the title and stuff up top and laminated everything with shipping tape. The "Create-a-Chart" and star stickers are available at places like Hobby Lobby or Lakeshore for a couple bucks each, but they would be super easy to make also. And yes, Madeline still wets the bed people.



And lastly, if you don't have a concrete method for discipling your preschoolers, I would suggest trying colored cards. We've been doing it for a while and it's been great for the girls. When they have bad behavior they "turn" their card to the yellow sad face (warning), then subsequently the orange 1 (one minute time-out), the red 5 (five minute time-out), and the black (go to your room). This works really well with young kids because they always have a chance to get back on green and redeem themselves and physically see when they are doing well. Just homemade construction paper cards in cut-off small letter-size envelopes and magnet strips. If you like to laminate, buy clear contact paper in the kitchen area of Walmart.